What to do if your kids melt down during your family session
Family photographer - Newport Rhode Island - Rota, Spain
It’s every parent’s greatest stress point. You finally booked the family session, you paid for the photographer, everyone is dressed, rushed to the session location, and it happens. Your child completely loses it. Crying, refusing to cooperate, your heart rate is spiking, you’re getting frustrated, emotional, feeling like everything is spiraling out of control. What do you do? How can you help get things back under control?
Deep breaths. It’s going to be alright!
If I’m your photographer my first step is this: Hug your baby. Big or little, we’ll pause, and you can wrap that baby in a hug and take a second for both of you to de escalate.
What we don’t do:
This is almost more important than what we do. We don’t: threaten, give punishment, tell the child to look at the camera, try to regain control through pushing them past their emotions.
What happens next:
While you snuggle that babe, I’ll back up for a few min, your job is to focus on your child, whisper in their ear, let them know everything is alright. As I wait I’ll probably quietly photograph this time and relationship between the two of you.
And if snuggles don’t work?
We’re going to take a walk! Movement helps reset most children. Take a walk with your kiddo. Hold their hand and help them explore, turn your back on me. Really - walk away! It’s totally fine. If there are more family members ready for photos, I’ll get a few photos of them, and regroup with you in a min.
Ask your child what they’d like to do.
This gives your child some control over the situation. Ask them if there’s something they want to see, or do. Throw rocks into the ocean? Look for a dandelion? Play with the sand on the beach? Chase the deer in the park? Having an activity gives your kiddo something else to focus on. A way to recenter themselves.
Have your children lost it during a family photo session? I’ll tell you if your answer is yes, you’re not alone! I’ve had many families with kids who don’t want to participate during the beginning of their session. It’s not abnormal, and I’ll let you know this: I’m not worried about it. My goal is always to document the connection between your family members. Connection is what matters more than perfection. So cuddle those babies, hold hands with your nervous teens, completely ignore me and look for seashells and little crabs.
Connection matters most. If you do nothing else: connect.
What have you found to be soothing or fun for your children during a family photo session? I’d love to know in the comments.
